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by
Valerie Gardner
I've done all the right things to "prepare" for the empty nest. I read the articles, made plans for trips, relationship renewal time, soul-searching time, etc. I knew it was coming and that, like the terrible two's and the troublesome teens, everybody goes through it. So why has it hit me so hard emotionally anyway? Why do I feel like my guts have been ripped out and thrown on the pavement only to be run over by a Mack truck?
It would seem that, as in every other stage of my life (like the terrible two's with the kids) no matter how much knowledge we have, we still have to live through the experience. In my younger days I was not in touch with my feelings, and in some ways it was a blessing. Now, they overwhelm me at times so that I lose control, like bursting into hysterical tears when a policeman gave me a ticket (I'm a failure, can't get anything right, failed my kids, blah, blah, blah). Then the self-recrimination sets in for being upset when this should be a happy time in my life.
It helps to know that many people experience the same range of emotions, and to read others' accounts of how they "got through it", but it does not lessen the intensity right now, and knowing that this could take a few weeks or possibly years to work itself through is unsettling to say the least. My rational self (when it is available) recites my mother's axioms for life's crises: "and this too shall pass away," plus "one day you'll look back and laugh at this."
So, until I get to the other side (whenever that may be), I will continue to appreciate the stories and look forward to the time when I'll be able to tell mine too. |
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